(NewsNation) — They say in Washington that if you want a friend, you should get a dog. But I had Doug LaMalfa, and he was far better.
Doug lived a life of honor. Not the performative kind that seeks applause, but the quiet kind that shows up when nobody is watching. In a town built on self-promotion, Doug stood apart. Instead of attracting attention, he deflected it. Instead of promoting himself, he lifted up others. And instead of guarding access to the throne of power, he threw the doors wide open for everyone.
I first met Doug a decade ago at a fundraising dinner for congressional wannabes, which at the time included me. Every consultant I had gave the same advice: “Sit by the wealthiest member in the room. Go where the money is.”
Instead, I followed my heart and sat next to Doug in his worn-out suit. We hit it off instantly and spent the evening laughing at a dinner everyone else treated like a job interview. Throughout the night, he kept telling me it was fine if I wanted to move since others were in a better position to give more than he could. But I didn’t want to move. I liked Doug.
From that night on, I made it a point to see him on my monthly trips to D.C., even if it was only for a few minutes squeezed into his impossibly full schedule. Somehow, he always made time for me, even when he had none to spare. We went to congressional baseball games, fancy GOP dinners, Bible studies and his favorite Capitol Hill dive, the Hawk ’n Dove. Every year, we celebrated our birthdays there with cheeseburgers, fries, and a shared dessert. Even on his birthday, Doug always shared.
That was who he was.
Doug honored his friends and the people they loved. He honored my Chinese heritage and celebrated my culture. Every time he ate at his favorite Chinese restaurant, he would put me on the phone with the owner so he could hear us speak Mandarin to each other. He worked hard, and mostly failed to learn how to pronounce my Chinese name correctly. He honored my Chinese mom by bringing her bags of rice that he had farmed himself. Doug always celebrated what made others special.
He honored his constituents, often putting their needs above his own. His office was filled to near hoarder status with gifts they had given him over the years. I once tried throwing some of it away, but Doug would have none of it. When the town of Paradise burned to the ground, Doug did not issue hollow statements. He hosted a fundraiser at the Capitol Hill Club and sponsored legislation to make sure it would never happen again. He fought bravely and relentlessly for the farming community, rural hospitals, and rural schools, and he never lost touch with the people whose lives were directly affected by his work.
He honored his colleagues. In a town filled with backstabbers and name-callers, Doug honored everyone, including those he disagreed with. While he had almost nothing in common politically with Congresswoman Pelosi, he never failed to call her “Mrs. P” and compliment her somehow. He did so, not to curry favor, but because he wanted to honor her — and more importantly, he did so both to her face and behind her back.
He honored God. Doug was not a flashy Bible-thumper, and he did not wear his faith on his sleeve. He had more questions than answers about who God is and what life was all about. He was a humble seeker of truth who knew right from wrong and never wavered from his moral Source. And Doug always stood bravely for truth, no matter the political consequences of doing so.
Most admirably, he honored his family. He often asked me to pray for his wife, Jill, for her ailing mother, and for his four children. His love and concern for them were always front and center – even while he served our nation thousands of miles away.
When Doug and Jill rang in the New Year at our house last week, he made a beeline for my 86-year-old mom. She absolutely adored him and loved having the attention of the person who generated the most attention in the room. Together, we sought God’s will for our lives in 2026 and thanked Him for the blessings, challenges, and memories of 2025. I sat close to Doug in our room full of friends, not because I needed to, but because I always liked being near him. Even my golden retriever – always the best judge of character – stayed by his side.
I will miss my friend more than words can express. I will miss the twinkle in his eye, the jokes we shared, and just his physical presence. I know Doug is safely in the arms of Jesus, but I would give anything to look him in the eye one last time and tell him how proud I was to be one of his many friends. His life of honor inspires me to set new standards of love for myself — with God, with my own family, with friends and political foes, and with every soul that crosses my path.
Well done, good and faithful servant.
Denise Gitsham serves as a political contributor for NewsNation and a dear friend of Doug LaMalfa.